It's a god-awful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair
But her mama is ill, you know
And her father has told her to go
But her friend is nowhere to be seen
Now she walks through a sunken dream
To the seat with the clearest view
And she's hooked to the silver screen

But the film it isn't any good
For she's lived it ten times or more
She could spit in the eyes of fools
As they ask her to forgive some

Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
It's some freaky show
Take a look at her
Lawman beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?

It's an America-to-tootin' band
Mickey Mouse is gonna be God
God of War is a tramp of fame
Who's left no son, same with him
See the mice in their million hordes
From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads
Rule Britannia is out of time
To my mother, my dog, and clown

But the film it isn't any good
'Cause I wrote it ten times or more
It's about to be writ again
As I ask you to forgive some

Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
It's a freaky show
Take a look at her
Lawman beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?