You know, it's such a shame
That it's so hard to find
Good, honest, legal help these days

See, the problem with my brother and me is
We're recidivists, habitual, criminal offenders
No attorney wants to go near us, I gotta find him a lawyer
I don't know what I'm gonna do

The D.A. was Burger
The cop was Tragg
And Della was the secretary
Drake sat on the desk with Perry