You know, it's such a shame

That it's so hard to find

Good, honest, legal help these days

See, the problem with my brother and me is

We're recidivists, habitual, criminal offenders

No attorney wants to go near us, I gotta find him a lawyer

I don't know what I'm gonna do

The D.A. was Burger

The cop was Tragg

And Della was the secretary

Drake sat on the desk with Perry