I was at the bar with my drinkin' team

It was me Jack Daniels and my homey Jim Bean

We were kinda blitzed and we were trying to behave y'all

When in walked a soldier, he was from the fuzzy naval

We were fallin', stumblin', crawlin'

Her come da police, Captain Tom Collins

And the rapper said freeze

He said, "Hands in the air and hand over your keys"

Now we did and that was kinda simple

Now here came Marguarita and her friend Shirley Temple

I asked my friend 'bout Margarita

He said Shirley was a virgin and I wouldn't wanna meet her

So I talked to Marguarita 'cause yoh, she was flyer

I took her to the coast 'cause I wanted to screw driver

Now I'm not one for a speech

But there was plenty of Tequila and Sex On The Beach, y'all

Tequila, te-te-te -tequila, tequila

Here we go again and I'm not fussin'

See I'm a French Mexican but I can get with White Russians

At the bar with a drink in my hand

In walked Jose Cuervo what was Margaritas man

I talked to the wise man cause, yoh he's distinguished

His name was St. Ives and he spoke in old English

He said, "You'd better think fast

'Cause Jose is kinda crazy and I heard he Shot Glass"

He gave me some advice and it went like this

Catch the night train and head up to 'cisco

I didn't wanna stick around

I caught the 1: 51 to New York, the Grey Hound

Now I'm at the Red Zone, everybody's stylin'

Was sippin' Ice Teas on Long Island

I blacked out and the party came to a halt

'Cause I was drinking the Tequila with the lemon assault y'all

Tequila, te-te-te -Tequila