Yeah, I'm sittin' on this barstool

Talkin' like a damn fool

Got the twelve o'clock news blues

And I've given up hope

For the afternoon soaps

And a bottle of cold brew

Is it any wonder I'm not crazy

Is it any wonder I'm sane at all

Well, I'm so tired of losin'

I got nothin' to do

With all day to do it

Well, I'd go out cruisin'

But I've no place to go

And all night to get there

Is it any wonder I'm not a criminal

Is it any wonder I'm not in jail

It's t-t-t-t-t-tickin' away

Now I don't know what to do

Now I'm a jet fuel genius

I can solve the world's problems

Without even trying

I've got dozens of friends

And the fun never ends

That is, as long as I'm buying

Is it any wonder I'm not the President

Is it any wonder I'm null and void

T-t-t-t-t-t-t-tickin' away

And I don't know what to do with myself

Mmm

T-t-t-t-tickin' away

Mmm

Too much time on my hands

Too much time on my