But there's only one that you need to hear from tonight

New York, I'm about to win this competition (yeah)

Maria! Give me a beat

Ooh, muy bien

So, since the day I arrived in England

Let's just say my faith has been tested on more than one occasion

First things first

I'm shipped over from Spain on the night of my sweet 16th

To marry some prince called Arthur, and I'm like, "Okay"

Then Arthur died, so naturally, I'm imprisoned for seven years

Really helped with the grieving process, you know?

But still, I'm like, "Okay, ha!"

But thank God, they rescued me just in time to marry Prince Henry

My dead husband's brother

Okay, so I'm thinking, "Uh, bit weird"

But if you seen him back in the summer of '09, let me tell you

He was okay

So, seven years later, we're still trying for an heir

He's trying really hard

And I'm like, "Ugh, okay"

Then he starts coming home late, "I was just out with my ministers"

But there's lipstick on his ruff, and I'm like, "Okay!"

Suddenly, he wants to annul our marriage

Moved some side chick into my palace

And moved me into a convent

No, can you?

I don't think I'd look that good in a wimple

So I'm like, "No way"