Wake up! Get down here quick!

The president's had too much to drink

His days of power are about gone

He's been talking to paintings in the hall

He says, "I'm finished, so what the hell?

My life is ruined, what matters now?

I've always itched for that last great thrill

If I die, all of you should, too"

All my bombs will rain down on DC

We'll nuke our enemies while they're asleep

We'll be safe in the ground below

And laugh and drink 'til the cows come home

So, c'mon, John, what do you say?

It's been dancing in my head for years

What'll happen if I push this button?

Let's start World War III for fun

"Mr. President, just sit down

We should talk a little while, I'll pour another round

What about your memoir's TV rights?

Sit tight and watch the fire"

"Let go of me, do you think I'm mad?""

"To tell the truth, sir, I'd rather not say

Just keep your paws inside your pockets

And planet Earth will be okay"

But you reached for the button anyhow

I had no choice but to knock you out

That's just last night's bump on your head

Onto the next crisis, it's another day