I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
The story of a charmless man
Educated the expensive way
He knows his claret from his Beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
But then nature didn't make him that way
He went (na, na, na, na, na, na)
That we'll respect him
He moves in circles of friends
Who just pretend that they like him
He does the same to them
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
He knows the swingers and their cabaret
Says he can get in anywhere for free
I began to go a little cross-eyed
And from this charmless man I just had to hide
He went (na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na)
He talks at speed, he gets nose bleeds
He doesn't see his days are tumbling
Down upon him
Yes, he tries so hard to please
That you'll respect him
And yet he tries so hard to please
(Na, na, na, na, na, na)