If you're havin' trouble with the high school head

He's givin' you the blues

You want to graduate, but not in his bed

Here's what you gotta do

Pick up the phone, I'm always home

Call me anytime

Just ring, 3-6-2-4-3-6, hey

I lead a life of crime

You got problems in your life of love

You got a broken heart

He's double dealin' with your best friend

That's when the teardrops start, fella

Pick up the phone, I'm here alone

Or make a social call

Come right in, forget about him

We'll have ourselves a ball, hey

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap (oh)

Oh yeah

If you got a lady and you want her gone

But you ain't got the guts

She keeps naggin' at you night and day

Enough to drive you nuts

Pick up the phone, leave her alone

It's time you made a stand

For a fee, I'm happy to be

Your back door man, woo

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap (yeah)

Concrete shoes, cyanide, TNT

Neckties, contracts, high voltage

Do anything you want me to

Dirty deeds, dirty deeds

Yeah